grace

I have been thinking about "grace" lately.

Having, at one time, been a practicing Catholic, I don't want to confuse the "Hail Mary, Full of Grace" "Grace"  with the "little g grace" that I'm talking about.  I'm talking about the grace that we are all exhibiting, or not, every day,


grace: noun
1. simple elegance or refinement of movement,
"she moved through the water with effortless grace"
synonyms: elegance, poise, gracefulness, finesse, suppleness, agility, nimbleness, light-footedness "the grace of a ballerina"

- courteous goodwill
"at least he has the grace to admit his debt to her"
synonyms: courtesy, decency, manners, politeness, decorum, respect, tact

- an attractive or polite manner of behaving
"she has all the social graces

This definition is where I'm coming from.
What does it mean to be gracious?  Why are some people so good at it, and some people struggle so?
There are circumstances each day that require the decision to exhibit grace, in the line at the grocery store when the guy behind you has one item and you have a cart full...do you let him go ahead?
If you do offer to let him go ahead, does he accept the offer?  Then the dance begins.  He may say, "No, that's okay." Does that nullify your gracious gesture?  I think not, but his opportunity to exhibit the "gracious acceptance" is not seized.  Tricky business, this grace thing.

I try more than anything, as a practice, to be gracious.  It is hard sometimes.  I lose my temper with people who I disagree with, and I lose my cool a couple of times a week, whether outwardly, or in my thoughts.  I am stubborn, which doesn't lend itself to being gracious, and that has been an ongoing lesson for my life.  Sometimes, things are just going to be what they are...grace is the decision to accept them, for the moment.  Sometimes things change, and I'm faced with exhibiting the grace of movement to navigate a new situation, or challenge.

I like the word.  There are many ways to describe a person, but I like gracious, if it fits.
I'm trying to remember that in the face of the current state of uncertainty about my employment future and my decision to take the hiatus that I'm on, at present, I'm going to have to be gracious in my explanation about the changes that have occurred in my life to those who are curious.  There are people that will wonder about things that I would prefer to remain private (not secret) and I will have to deflect questions in a graceful manner.  Are you going to get another job?  Why did you quit, you seemed to love your job so much?  Now what are you going to do?  I've already heard these, and others.  The answer is that "I'll figure it out", when sometimes I would like to say, "It really isn't any of your business".  That's just not fair to say, to people who are asking about my well being, even if the questions are misguided or actually nosy.  I lead, for better or worse, a public life.  It isn't one of celebrity, but it is one of openness, and that leads to a sense of familiarity with people, for better or worse.
So I decided this Monday morning to spend some time sorting out my feelings about "grace".
I also decided to start a conversation with you, the reader, about this very thing.
When have you had to muster grace in order to handle a situation?  Was it easy or hard?
Let's talk about grace.